A serious poem and a joke one
“Amends” by yours truly
Heard recently on phone
From an old frenemy.
We had had a falling out at
About 19 when I was acting crazy,
And he was a bit angry then.
He was nice now on the phone.
He is an independent in his career field
As I am in mine.
It is odd though, making amends.
It is one step in the AA program.
I don’t think the old buddy was formally
Trying to make amends, just to let bygones be bygone.
I also got a phone call about 10 years ago
From a teenage workplace and neighborhood buddy
Going through the amends step of AA,
Apologizing to me.
I did not know what he was apologizing for,
And he would not specify.
I guess he was spreading bad gossip about me.
“Consent Form” by yours truly (a joke)
Banker: “Before allowing an early withdrawal
From your 401(K), we will need
You to complete a spousal consent form.”
Client: “This is ridiculous. I don’t have a spouse and never have had one.”
Banker: “What about when you kiss your Mom? She may have to sign the form. And all those models and actresses you imagined intimacy with? And that teenage woman you kissed heavily after a dance? We need consent signatures on the form from them all.”
Client: “You are gross.”
Banker: “No, our rules are subtle and sophisticated to protect your money behind steel doors giving you no access to it while you die alone and broke, evicted and lying on a sidewalk.