“On Not Killing Elves” by yours truly
“Kill your elf! Kill your elf! Kill!” “No, elves are gentle creatures, and we don’t really own them. Stop saying that.” “Kill it!” “Kill It, the Stephen King novel? Why would I want to kill a book I haven’t read. Now a few Russian ones maybe. Some say they are the best, but I don’t know…” “Kill!” “As you will. I’ll kill you, McGoo. Don’t say I didn’t warn ya. May move to California. I’ll be a big star. Sure to go far. Happy now?”