Here are a few awful jokes on the topic of ugly Americans and things lost in translation (even within American English). You have been warned.
American man in Heidelberg, Germany, approaching a currency exchange desk. Man: “I’d like some D-Marks.” Clerk: “Bitte?” American: “Well, yes, if you must know, I am bitter. What about it? Does it show in my expression? Do you want my life’s story?” Clerk: (drawn aback and quizzical) “Bitte?” American: “Rubbing it in, huh? I bet your life is just a bed of roses. Good for you, buddy. I’m taking my business elsewhere.”
American man at a Tokyo sushi bar approaches a lone woman. Man: “Konnichiwa lovely lady. May I buy you a drink?” Woman: “Iie.” (Man hears “yeah.”) Man: “Well then, what are you having?” Woman: “Iie. Iie.” Man (hearing “yeah. yeah.”): “Yes, but what type of drink?” Woman: “IIE! IIE! IIE!” Man (hearing “YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!”) : “You’re getting too excited about a bit of booze. There are groups and treatments to help with this. I’m going to go. Have a good evening.”
Man approaches a woman at the grocery store in the US. Man: “Well, hello lovely. Would you mind seeing a movie with me sometime?” Woman: “Wino.” Man (hearing “why no”): “Great. Just name the time and place.” Woman: “Okay, I’ll spell it out: you are a W-I-N-O, wino. You look, smell, and act like it. I wouldn’t touch you with a ten-foot pole.” Man: “Shouldn’t that be a 16-foot pole, with social distancing and all?” Woman: “Buzz off.”