“Kids Say the Darndest Things” by yours truly
“I plan on flying to Bangkok.” “Heard that joke before and would prefer to go to Bangpusy anyway.” “There is no such place, and that would make you a woman.” “No, that would make me a man. Thank you, Thailand. Childhood was hell.” “‘Hell is for Children'” “And I’m leaving. So long, hell. Until next time.” “Well, you’re wise beyond your years.” “But sadly not wise between my ears and still too young to drink beers. Here’s to youth. If only this were vermouth.” “What you’re saying is uncouth. You’ll need a wife named Ruth.” “Ah, marriage: the fountain of…” “What you say is sooth.” “I may be loosing a baby tooth.” “That bites. Put it under your pillow during nights.” “Party’s over. Turn out the lights.” “You’ve stumbled into the truth.”
“What bothers people most is your sanctimony.” “Last night I gave your Mom my sancti-money and she was sancti-moany for hours. If I were you, I’d be bothered too.” “Here have an h’orderves. The knuckle sandwich is tempting.” “That would be pre-empting. But thanks for the chat. I don’t feel sanctimonious anymore.” “You’re not welcome. The bill’s in the mail.” “Hmm, I’ll need to check.” “Enough of this dreck!” “Don’t worry. It’s not a plank or even a splinter; it’s a speck. And please don’t always want the last word.” “W—-”
Here’s a joke: Guess what? You’ve got the clap. Bravo! Outstanding performance (I hear sometimes it was standing too).