“Further Still Round the Bend” by yours truly
“W—, you need to control yourself!” “Control mice elf? Which? You are confusing.” “Yourself.” “But it should not be mice elf. The proper grammar is my elf, Mr, B—. As an English teacher, you of all people should know that.” “YOURSELF!” “Please, no self-deprecation. You aren’t tall, but you are hardly an elf. And you aren’t mine.” “Just control yourself.” “There are mice and elves coming out of the woodwork.” “Is that what she asked?” “What do you mean?” “Whether your wood works?” “Woody is just fine, thank you. Anyway that’s between her and me.” “That’s good grammar. Some might say ‘she and me.'” “And she mean, and it’s a crying shame.” “This is no ‘Crying Game.'” “Yes, that would be lame, and I would be sad he came.”