“Career Advice” by yours truly
“Hey, look over there. That’s Buddy Hackett.” “He can sure hack it.” “Yes, W—. It’s because he doesn’t wack it, you perv.” “I’d like to be a hack. It really appeals to me.” “You think press should be free?” “Like a Charlie Horse on my knee. Maybe I need advice from M— M—” “You want Eminem’s advice? You trust rappers?” “I do but they sometimes feel like trappers. Hey, M— is dressed as a flapper.” “Enough of that palaver. Everyone’s sick of it.” “Yes, but the feelings are strong; she can have the wick of it.” “That candle may be too hot to handle.” “Don’t be such a man dull.” “Watch your grammar, or I’ll get out my hammer.” “A hack and a carpenter. That’s what we’ll be.” “Yes, I’ll be in The Carpenters: Their best song is ‘Far from Me.’ SayOOOnara, sucker.” “Say ‘OHH!’ Nara while you do it. I like sound effects.” “You’ll need a whore for that.” “This has been a horror chat. Oh no! Mr. Bill is loose again and wants to kill!”