“Miscell-toe-neous” by yours truly
Self-deprecation
“You come highly recommended.”
“Someone recommended me? They must have been smoking a lot of pot indeed.”
“Not sure about high, but I do come often. It could put me in a coffin.”
The New Regime
“Be unpaid. Be very unpaid.
Coz we will, we will mock you!”
No Drama
“No, no, no you don’t,
Gently if a ream,
Scari-lly, scari-lly, scari-lly,
Life isn’t as it seem.”
That Night
“They killed you that night.”
“But I put up a fight.”
“Bad dreams at fright?”
“Know wrong from right.”
“Someone turn on the light.”
“Well you may, well you might.”
“Despite potato blight.”
“Think sound, not sight.”
“It’ll be alright.”
“Right.”
Against Smoking
“M—-, don’t smoke.
Not a joke.
Date some bloke.
Or drink diet Coke.
But please don’t smoke.
Maybe you can pace.
Or spray my face with mace.
I deserve it, big disgrace.
Coming to get you.
Won’t forget you.”
Incest
“What’s wrong W—-? Are you a ‘shy guy’?”
“Hey, M—- just got a call from your sister. Says you couldn’t resist her.”
“That was a flop. Someone get a mop. I could kill you.”
“But will you?”
News Flash
News flash: Helen of Troy got a tattoo on Fantasy Thailand, but don’t take the car, you’ll kill your elf.